| it's exhausting. and lonely.
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| i would delete that entry since it was written in haste and with tears in my eyes (YAY FOR BEING A DRAMA QUEEN) but i am not going to since A: i doubt many people will be reading it and B: posterity is needed. or something like that.
I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW.
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| i kind of freak myself out. i worry that my heart and mind are so caught up in the past; not my past, but parts of history that i feel i belong to but couldn't be further away from.... i feel like since i'm so caught up that i fuck myself over for experiencing things in the NOW. like, how can i ever be in love when i'm so focused on being in love with someone who's been dead longer than i've been alive? or how am i going to hold any one person's interests when i obsessively swoon. constantly. not that i'm saying i'm going to stop. i couldn't even if i wanted to. which i don't. because i'd rather sit and stare at pictures and videos of the Beatles than leave my bedroom. and THAT'S the problem.
.....introspection isn't as helpful when i don't have a therapist to organize and rationalize (or UNrationalize) for me. i don't know. i just know that, even though i'm on my period, i should not be getting this emotional over the possiblity of Zeppelin touring in America, or old videos of the Beatles.
yes yes, blah blah, all things meg has said before. i find it rather obtrusive that i can't even make an entry in my xanga without all the mocking voices of MY past filtering into my mind.
fuck you.
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| It is better to make specific conclusions from general information than to make general assumptions based on specific information.
that could be therapuetic and helpful in education.
it's part of the reading from my schoolwork.
it's so logical, and yet it's something we forget to do all the time.
or me instead of we, whatevs.
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